by the Very Rev. J. Guibert, S.S.
Though a virtuous soul is naturally inclined to be kind, and though
kindness of all virtues is the easiest to practise without being
taught, we will nevertheless here set down in order its
characteristics, partly in order to make it to be more loved by making
it better known; partly to help the kind-hearted to use some sort of
method in carrying out the suggestions of their own good nature.
The first of all acts of kindness is
to pity any who suffer; a heart moved by the pain of another
straightway feels itself instinctively drawn to succour him in his
trouble. But the gifts of the kind man must be given kindly,
graciously, else the kind act will be no balm to the soul of the
sufferer. But the supreme act of Christian kindness, and the most a man
can give to his fellow, is to love him as himself.
There are, therefore, varying degrees of kindness, and the more
precious the gift it bestows, the more perfect it is in itself. When
merely compassionate, it gives pity; when actively beneficent, it
sacrifices money, goods, time, and comfort; when gracious in the
practical expression of its compassion, it bears witness that it
respects and honours those on whom it confers favours; when, in fine,
it is, in Scriptural phrase, loving, kindness means the giving to
another one's very heart.
I
HOW TRUE KINDNESS IS COMPASSIONATE
"It is only pity that can make us kind," says Joubert. At any rate to
feel for others is the first and surest proof of a kind heart. Look
neither for devotedness nor for sympathy from a heart that the sight of
pain does not touch.
There are men and women who take no notice of the sufferings of others.
Every day they see people in trouble; but it neither surprises them nor
affects them; they would not think of stopping to help up again a poor
man who has fallen down, nor to aid in dressing the gaping wounds of
one whom some accident has stricken to death. They simply pass on, nor
allow the trouble of their neighbour to draw them for a single instant
from their pursuit of pleasure or from their business. Nothing will
they sacrifice for the sake of their suffering fellow creatures. It is
of such as these one is thinking when one speaks of hard, cold, callous
hearts.
Again, there are men and women who, in presence of acute distress,
forget to pity the sufferer, so intent are they on discovering where
the fault lies. They seem to be seeking to know the truth in order that
they may feel justified in shutting compassionateness out of their
hearts and in trampling on those who have fallen, rather than reach out
to them a helping hand; they make known weaknesses of others about
which they would do well to be silent, and take a truly criminal
pleasure in fatally compromising by their indiscreet utterances persons
whom a charitable silence might have saved. Of a truth, the hearts of
such as these are evil.
The impulses of a kind heart are quite other. By a mysterious instinct
it seems to become conscious of distress; no details of pain escapes
it, it pierces any and every poor cloak with which shame may seek to
hide wretchedness. Far from turning away from the sight of suffering as
from something that revolts, the man of kind heart cannot refrain from
gazing upon what only makes him long the more to stay and help. He does
not trouble to blame the unfortunate; he knows only how to commiserate
them, to suffer with them, above all to understand them.
For him, a fault is atoned for by the mere fact that it is suffered
for. Indeed, a truly kind heart cannot heed the fault; it sees only the
consequent misery; and this is the very reason why the pity of the
truly kind-hearted is so sweet to all who mourn.
To the kind man every sort of trouble appeals; bodily pain, sadness of
heart, the wounds one's surroundings or one's bad fortune has
inflicted, mental suffering
-----for such there surely is
-----nay,
peradventure is pain of mind the hardest of all to bear.
The kind man never makes little of another's real sufferings; his
heart
all but bleeds for the least of them. He concerns himself, too, about
sorts of distress concerning which people, as a rule, do not trouble;
the everyday commonplace woe of artisans employed in unhealthy
workshops, of women subsisting on starvation wages, of children left to
roam the streets, or, though mere babies, already worked to death.
Secretly the kind heart feeds the shame-faced poor; very noticeably it
shows respect for and honours all whom the world scorns; on the
forsaken and desolate it lavishes its words of comfort and
encouragement.
Nor can there ever be a lack of opportunities for the kind heart to
show himself as such. "The poor you have always with you," said Christ.
These words are always true, however much and well men have worked in
our time for the bettering of the lot of the masses.
Let civilization be advanced as it may, always will there be orphans to
succour, the helplessly sick to look after, the feeble-minded to
protect, the weak-willed and tempted to watch over, the listless and
incapable to be kept up and pushed on. The world will never be without
men on the point of making shipwreck of their lives. not without women
ready to sacrifice to vanity the well-being of their homes. The
ambitious or sensual man will always put the gratifying of his unlawful
desires above duty. The uncurbed passions of the criminal will always as
now be a danger to society.
Hospitals and refuges may be enlarged, dispensaries and industrial
schools multiplied, prisons and labour colonies better organized;
misery will not disappear from our streets; you will find it on your
own doorstep, and sooner than let go its hold on you, it will attack
you yourself and find its way into your very heart.
In presence of this inevitable suffering, albeit convinced that there
needs must always be suffering about it, the compassionate heart never
wearies; day after day, distress appeals to it, moves it, as if there
were always novelty in pain. It is attracted by suffering, not from
reason or duty, nor because it has made a business of charity, not even
(apart from what is supernatural) to fulfill the Will of God
-----high as
this last motive is
-----but because it is a human being that suffers.
"Kindness," says Lacordaire, "is a virtue that does not think about its
own interest; does not wait for the call of duty; has no need of
aesthetic attraction to solicit it; but is instinctively the more
drawn towards its object, the more the object is wretched, poor,
forsaken, and, humanly speaking, contemptible."
Any so-called kindness not springing from this natural feeling of
compassion will inevitably be hard and austere; it may perhaps be self-sacrificing, but it can never attract.
No heart can be tender in its compassion as is the Heart of Christ. For
in this Sacred Heart, which is one thing with the mercy of God, began
upon earth the reign of pity. Infinite were its riches, but of them all
Christ willed to make manifest only His goodwill to man. Pitying all,
hard on none, Christ understood and solaced every suffering. They
brought the sick to Him and He healed them, He met lepers and He
cleansed them; He saw the dead wept over and He raised them to life; He
multiplied the loaves to feed the multitudes that had followed Him into
the wilderness; Magdalen's tears He did not spurn; at His feet the
woman taken in adultery found forgiveness and salvation, He was moved
by Peter's tears, and He heard the prayer of the penitent thief. His
dying in shame on the Cross that we might be saved was a supreme act of
pity for us.
He taught His disciples to be kind
-----to be kind always. To those who
would have had Him call down fire from Heaven on the ungrateful city of
Samaria, His one reply was: "Ye know not of what spirit you are." What
His spirit was He has taught us in the parable of the good Samaritan,
who, going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and lighting upon a man sore
wounded, stayed on his way to pour the oil and wine of his charity into
the poor traveller's open wounds, and to have him cared for at his
benefactor's charges in the nearest inn.
Christ condemned the hard-hearted in the person of Dives, who, seated
at a sumptous table, had no thought of Lazarus dying of hunger on his
threshold, and cast the remains of his banquet to the dogs utterly
heedless of the poor. In fine, He warns us that God's mercy is for the
merciful, and for the merciful alone.

The Saints have each one largely shared in the charity of Christ, but
the character of St. Vincent of Paul seems to have been above that of
others its living expression. There is not a single form of human
misery by which, at some time or another in his life, the heart of this
Saint was not moved. The destitute, the sick, forsaken children,
victims of war and of famine, galley-slaves, prisoners, hardened
criminals, women in trouble or in danger, all alike moved him to pity,
all were lovingly helped by him.
True as pretty are the prints of the
time that picture him gathering up forsaken children from the streets
of Paris, and himself carrying them to the homes he had got ready for
them.
He was not a philosopher who has argued out the duty of every man to
take his share of a joint responsibility; it was simply that he was
holy and human, and that he was touched to the heart by the sufferings
of others.
He himself says as much; "Oh, Madam, what a harvest there is to gather
for heaven, particularly in these days when the misery at our very
doors is so great. . . . I am anxious for the future of our Congregation,
yet most truly I can say that it does not trouble me nearly so much as
does the lot of the poor; we priests can always ask bread from those
among ourselves who have it, or we can disperse and work as parish
priests in different parts of the country; but my poor, what can they
do? Where can they go? Now you know what really is my burden, my
sorrow."
Now this compassionateness for which the sufferings of the poor are "a
burden and a sorrow," can it be acquired by everyone? Its germ is
surely implanted in each individual soul, for as Bossuet remarks "When
God made the heart of man, the first thing He implanted in it was
kindness." Nevertheless, in too many hearts this germ has dried up. Nor
must we be surprised if we meet with many men and women hard and
insensible to the sufferings of others. In certain highly gifted
natures the God-implanted seed of kindliness may grow of itself, but in
most hearts it needs cultivation to force it into healthy life and
action. Therefore, it is that it is important to begin early to teach
children to be kind and compassionate. In the words of a writer of our
own time, "Men have more need to be taught how to pity the sufferings
of others than how to bear their own."
II
HOW TRUE KINDNESS IS GENEROUS
"Good impulses are just nothing at all unless they develop into good
actions." This remark of a thinker is not altogether true, for the mere
pity felt by a kind heart may be itself a kind deed. All sufferers are
really helped by feeling themselves understood, thought about, and
sympathized with. Of the manifold miseries which we meet on our path
through life, only a small number can call for sacrifice and
devotedness on our part; but all claim at least our compassion. Tears
of sympathy are never shed in vain; they heal the wounds that caused
them to flow.
But to pity is, after all, only to begin to do good; of its very nature
kindness tends to express itself by means of kind and charitable
actions. The human heart, when deeply moved, is an over full vessel; it
cannot contain the torrent of goodness that wells up within it. And
Father Faber has very truly laid down that "kindness is the overflowing
of self upon others." The heart that is moved by compassion makes the
sufferings of others its own; it grieves over them; it weeps over them;
it tries to relieve them. To still the cry of pain it sacrifices
everything
-----time, money, trouble, its very existence. It would give
anything to be able to do away with the suffering which at the moment
is before it, and to realize its own noble ambition to add a measure of
justice and happiness to the world's history.
The compassionate heart gives of its time. Do the duties of its state
leave it any leisure? Such leisure is hoarded like a precious treasure,
not that therewith one may yield to the allurements of pleasure nor for
the profit of business, but that it may be devoted to the service of
the poor and the afflicted, or may be spent in paying visits of
charity, or in working for the distressed. In a word, that it may be
taken up with the saying of kind words and with the doing of kind
actions.
This was the lesson taught by St. Vincent of Paul to the Ladies of
Charity, and later by Ozanam to the young students whom he gathered to
his conferences. Those who treasure up the smallest
fragments of their time as so much precious coin and spend them on the
poor, are blessed of God surely as much as they who give to the needy
their cast-off garments and what remains from their table. But the
compassionate man gives also of his money. Once such necessary
expenditure as is required by his station in life has been met, what is
over he carefully sets aside for the benefit of those who are in want.
If he is well-to-do, he draws upon his superfluous riches with a lavish
hand, only too happy to be able to relieve a greater number of the
needy.
There are more people in the world than one would think who practise
the strictest economy for the sole purpose of enabling themselves to
follow the generous inclinations of their kind hearts, without, in so
doing, omitting any expenditure proper to their station in life. There
are, everywhere, humble work-girls and poor labourers who, like the
widow praised in the Gospel, take, day by day, from the little they
have their mite for the hungry and the homeless.
Besides time and money, the kind man gives to his suffering fellowmen
of his strength, of his talents, of all his resources. He takes pains
to be kind. He does not mind trouble; after emptying his purse he
spends himself.
There are kind people who make clothes for the poor, others artistic or
useful objects to be sold for their benefit; others again who visit and
tend the sick in their poor homes.
Not all the "Little Sisters" who go forth into the by-ways of our
cities to comfort the suffering wear a coif; God only knows how much
devotedness is the more effectually hidden by a worldly dress, and how
often dainty hands are discreetly employed in her service by holy
Charity, in making beds, in washing children, or in cooking humble
meals.
In other walks of life this selfsame kindliness of heart takes all
manner of trouble
-----faces perhaps even humiliations, to get 'employment
for a man out of work, to save a woman in trouble from utter ruin, or
to retrieve from wretchedness and dishonour one of the many lives of
agony hidden away under a commonplace exterior.
Again, in a higher and more special sense, the sympathetic heart truly
gives to others its very self. It clings to those whom it helps. What
it is kind to, that will it first respect, and eventually love. Likely
enough, it will receive neither gratitude nor love in return,
nevertheless in the end it needs must love those to whom it does good.
Even when in the words of St. Paul, "for loving more he himself is the
less loved" (2 Cor. xii. 15), the kind man does not lose heart, for of
true affection as of all else, "verily is it more blessed to give than
to receive." The virtue of kindliness pushed thus far has reached its
perfection.
Unselfishness is the first condition for the bestowing of a benefit
to
be a true act of kindness. The master who in ancient times looked after
the health and well-being of his slaves, but only in order that they
might work the better for him, had not the merit of charity, because he
was seeking his own interest and nothing besides; in the same way he,
who rendering a service to another looks upon it simply as a good
investment, out of which he looks for profit, neither acts from
kindness, nor feels the joy that is brought by the doing of a kind act;
such a one may be a good man of business, but not necessarily
kind-hearted. The kind man is no calculator. He asks for nothing from
the gift he bestows, except the joy of having helped misfortune. He has
no thought of material advantages, or of praise which may accrue to him
from being kind. He purposely envelops his best actions in silence and
secludedness; far from himself proclaiming them with self-satisfied
pride, he conceals them as carefully as others hide their faults; he
wants the world to know nothing at all of his good deeds, and even the
poor to benefit by them without feeling that they owe them to him. He
tries" not to let his left hand know what his right hand doeth." Hence,
he prefers those good deeds which are ordinary to those which are
striking; and for the very
reason that good done at home has mostly the look of a duty, and rarely
implies an out-of-the-way devotedness, he puts in the foremost place
those acts of self-denial by which his own household benefits. To be
the less noticed he likes to give his life, so to speak, piecemeal. So
little does he look for gratitude, that if by chance it comes to him,
it surprises him. For, ever there ring in his ears those words of
Christ; "When you shall have done all these things that are commanded,
you say; We are unprofitable servants; we have done that which we ought
to do."
Kindness must not only be unselfish, it must be catholic [universal]. The truly
kind-hearted man knows no exception of persons in the distributing of
what he has to give. He considers himself beholden to all sufferers.
The kindliness of the Jews was limited to their brethren according to
the flesh, the children of Abraham. They hated the rest of mankind;
Christian kindliness reveals its Divine origin in that it extends to
every creature. According even to Schopenhauer; "When kindness dwells
in a heart, it opens that heart wide enough for it to embrace the whole
world."
Kindness makes no distinctions on account either of nationalities, or
of opinions, or of sympathies, or of antipathies; wherever it sees
misery there it speeds. "I meet," writes Jules Simon, "a poor man who
is suffering from hunger. I hasten to relieve him. What does his name
or his country matter? I shall never see him again; but he is a man.
. . . The Sister of Charity takes the habit of St. Vincent of Paul and
enters a hospital; whom is she going to look after, comfort and heal?
She has no idea
-----some human being or other. All who need her care are
sure of her welcome. This is love of mankind."
The wicked even are not excluded from the solicitous tenderness of
the
truly kind, for as Plato remarked; "If they are forsaken by their
fellow-men, they can but become more wicked." And here God Himself
vouchsafes to set us the example; "Does
He not make His sun to rise on the just and on the unjust?" Has not
Jesus Christ atoned for the sins of all mankind? And has not that
eloquent preacher of the Master's doctrine, St. Paul, declared that for
Christians "there is no distinction between Jew and Gentile, Greek and
Roman, Scythian and Barbarian, for that all men are brethren in
Christ Jesus." The distinctive note of Christian charity would be
wanting in our kindliness if our motive in being kind were other than
that of wishing to do good to someone just because he is our fellowman.
Yet charity must not be practised without discernment. On the contrary,
charity should be intelligent, and far from blindly distributing the
means at its disposal, should increase the value of its gifts by the
opportuneness of its bestowimg of them. In some cases alms-deeds means
the giving of money in place of help in other forms. The assistance
required by those whom infirmity renders unfit for work differs from
the aid to be bestowed on men and women in distress, but able to earn
their own living.
True kindness is fully conscious that alms are hurtful, if they unduly
dispense a man from taking his part in the struggle to live; it is,
therefore, ingenious in seeking out the work for which each one is fit;
for artisans according to their trade and skill, for boys and girls the
means of learning the one and acquiring the other. It is more really
kind and a far truer act of charity to spur the able-bodied on to work
than to relieve temporarily their distress by the gift of money.
Similarly, in the matter of education, it is true kindness to let the
child off no work, to insist on its own individual effort. Only by
urging the child to act for itself can its character be developed and
fitted for the battle of life.
It is deplorable that the rich seem to prefer to put unquestioningly
considerable sums into the hands of the poor, rather than to follow the
needy step by step and to take the trouble to show them how to help
themselves. A wise foresight, a taking into account of any probable
outcome of his kind act is essential to the kind man; and no one
wishful to be kind must forget it.
Lastly, almsgiving is the expression of true Christian charity only
when it respects the dignity and the feelings of the poor. One meets
at times with men who give away lots of money, but whose harshness is
painful, even insulting, to those whom they help. Their very favours
are made to be a burden hard to bear. True kindliness is considerate
and discreet; it inspires a delicate mode of treating with the poor
which conciliates them and respects both their feelings and their
freedom.
In giving alms, beware of wounding the pride of the poor; do not humble
still more a man whose misery already lowers him enough in his own
eyes; do not let him imagine that you are lording it over him; efface
yourself for sheer fear of offending him. On this condition only can
you again make of an outcast
-----a man and a friend.
Remember that needy though he be, the poor man is a free man. It is bad
enough for him to be tyrannized over by misfortune, or by the brute
forces of nature; do not, by exacting what he need not give, crush the
man who feels himself to be a failure. Do not make his chains heavier;
rather set him quite free, so that he may the more surely become
better. It may be that the respect you show will not be appreciated by
all the poor, but it is certain that the charity which is overbearing
always irritates and at the same time depresses them. The most
Christian and the greatest benefactors of the poor are assuredly those
who strive to hide their own better fortune, and to bridge over the
distance between the poor and themselves. By showing itself retiring,
almost shy, their generosity clothes itself with the winning charm of
true kindliness.
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