Silence:
PEARLS OF WISDOM
"Speak much with God but little with men."
---St. Ephrem
Compiled by Pauly Fongemie from the writings of the Saints and accepted spiritual writers and or theologians. All the graphics are purposefully muted in sepia hues by way of symbolic silence. Peaches are a traditional symbol for silence, of a virtuous heart and tongue. It is also used as a variant of the apple symbolizing the New Eve, Mary, for salvation.
1. INTRODUCTION BY PAULY FONGEMIE
2. RECOLLECTION, THE TENTH STEP TO HOLINESS
BY ST. ALPHONSUS LIGOURI
3. THE PRAYER OF QUIET OF ST. TERESA OF AVILA
AS EXPLAINED BY FR. GARRIGOU-LAGRANGE
4. READING A HELP IN THE SPIRITUAL LIFE BY FR. FREDERICK FABER
5. BL. DINA BELANGER: DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
6. GEMS FROM THE WRITINGS OF THE SAINTS OR THEIR BIOGRAPHIES
7. ST. GERTRUDE THE GREAT: ON REFRAINING FROM USELESS WORDS
8. THE TRUE IDEA OF DEVOTION BY FR. FREDERICK FABER
9. DISTRACTIONS AND THEIR REMEDY BY FR. FREDERICK FABER
10. SILENCE BY ST. ALPHONSUS LIGOURI
11. SOCIETY AND SOLITUDE BY ST. FRANCIS DE SALES
12. ON DETACHMENT BY ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS
13. ST. GEMMA GALGANI'S DETACHMENT
14. ST. CATHERINE OF SIENA: IN DEFENSE OF THE PAPACY
15. BL. ELIZABETH OF THE TRINITY, THE SAINT OF SILENCE
16. ST. AGOSTINA PIETRANTONI
1. INTRODUCTION
by Pauly Fongemie
People are often in a quandary about the virtue of silence; some recognize that others may misuse this virtue---an excuse to do nothing to right a sacerdotal or secular wrong when they are able to speak up because this is more personally comfortable, and thereby the mot, "Silence is consent." Others fear that they might make matters worse, and there is much wisdom in this prudent approach. What is the virtue of silence? How can I know when it ought to apply to me and my situation? How can I practice it when I work in the world or am raising a family? What are the kinds of silence?
There is no "one size fits all" rule simply because everyone has different responsibilities and temperaments. Some of us are more quiet by nature and thus there is less virtue in making a virtue out of silence; this is not to say that one should become more vocal, only that the virtue is more difficult for those inclined to loquacity. And sometimes God may be using that aspect of one's temperament for His Own purposes. Silence itself has more than one definition. The two that concern us here are the deliberate refraining from unnecessary speech, profane or frivolous speech altogether, and the silence of interior recollection even when engaged with our duty involving others who may not necessarily have the same aspirations in mind at the same time. This takes detachment. Without interior silence and recollection one cannot achieve true devotion or piety. A cautionary note: our feelings, natural prejudices and passions interject themselves in such ways that we may feel compelled to speak when silence is wiser. Learning when is a matter of waiting upon God to tell you as you grow in sanctity and remain in His presence. It will be a little different for every one of us. Then, too, some people are in the habit of being sullen in silence, because of anger and pride. There is no virtue in this kind of silence, but perhaps malice, even. A common weakness in us all is the capacity for self-deceit.
Virtuous silence is that which is a response to conversation that is licit, but that which one withholds from one's own pleasure as a sacrifice in order to be open to Divine grace or to licitly spare others our opinions of them and whatnot. The Saints struggled with the virtue of silence, so we should expect the same. Primarily the desire that is the foundation for this social silence is the desire to possess God and be possessed by Him, to love Him above all things, the desire to never displease Him in even the smallest matter, because He is so Good, so All-Good, we cannot bear to part from Him for any reason; conversing with others unless absolutely necessary withdraws us from Him in some measure. Even a sigh, when uttered out of pure love for Him alone becomes transformed into a Spiritual Communion.
Patience, too, is a virtue; we often overlook patience regarding ourselves. If we expect God to be patient just a while longer with us [as we so often ask Him and thank Him for all that He has been], ought we not also? Impatience is one of the windows that the devil likes to fly through and enter in our spirit so as to discourage us, make us focus exclusively on our unworthiness, rather than the goodness of God. Patience, yes, but not so patient that we do not punish ourselves, for the only way to eradicate a vice is to admonish oneself and resolve to change with the help of God's grace, the prod being a punishment one inflicts on self and as soon as possible. Let us not sin against the Holy Ghost by presumption. God is good but we ought not rest on any advancement we perceive, nor put off a firm purpose of amendment when we fall, until Confession. Our tongue is the perennial companion of the Prince of this world. If we have said something unkind about our neighbor, let us retract it immediately. If we have nothing good to say about our neighbor, then let us say nothing of him. This is seldom the case because if we are praying for our neighbor, we soon discover good things about him that were there all the time or have begun in him thanks to grace. Speaking without thinking arises from a defective conscience; it is a sin to reveal our neighbor's faults, some things no matter how true are not to be spoken of; anyway we have no idea about the motivation and our neighbor may be far better than we are. Does this mean we are not permitted to answer a sincere person who is trying to determine the best candidate to vote for, if we must say that his or her stance on issues are unworthy of our support? No, because we are talking about the public good and public matters, not revealing private sins, which we cannot do even with a political officeholder. Sometimes the sins are made public through no fault of our own; while we ought not speak of them specifically, we must not practice deceit and think ourselves virtuous by refusing to acknowledge that the publicity exists and that sometimes this enters the picture. For instance, we can [some crimes must be revealed to the authorities] report a crime or warn families with children who may be in harm's way, but in general most of the knowledge we have of our neighbor is private and belongs there. Revealing his faults is worse than the faults he may have. We bring scandal when we do and commit grievous sin. Even though we are not supposed to take scandal, which is worse than causing it, we must be realistic, people will take scandal. If we have a bone to pick with someone, let us remain quiet and pray to remain serene before we do; we may come to see that God intends for us to suffer in silence because the problem affects only he and you.
Sometimes problems arise in families where grave sin abounds in some quarters. The subject has to be dealt with in order to avoid a greater scandal. But it ought to stay in the family if at all possible, not out of shame and false pride, but to avoid the diminution of the sense of shame. The more that personal falls from grace are revealed in general [there are exceptions such as conversion stories and Scripture] there is a likelihood that a sense of sin can be lost through familiarity. Silence where possible is a must: the devil cannot enter therein as no door is unlocked for him and no highway is paved for his speedy travel. We will also gain an unexpected bonus. Our words, when spoken, will take on a heightened interest, like a little treasure that has washed ashore.
Moreover, we have to ask for the grace of silence to sanctify ourselves. Silence is not an infused virtue like the gift of faith at Baptism. In our culture silence does not find a welcome abode. Any kind of silence except the silence that approves of sin. The virtue of silence is ultimately the fruit of detachment or self-annilhilation. In other words, ego-pyschological silence.
Souls who have asked for the grace of silence and recollection find themselves at social or public events where it is not possible to maintain the spirit of the presence of God easily, simply because even though the person has no interest in the customary social discourse or casual conversation, it would be not only boorish to remain aloof, but could cause unnecessary hurt feelings. We live in a gossip-minded, busy talk for the sake of talk type of society; while we ought never speak frivolously, falsely so as to appear charming, or engage in unwarranted or ribald humor, we must be kind to our neighbor and listen to him because of his needs; this necessarily entails responding. We need not volunteer our opinion, but when sincerely asked for it, it is sometimes prudent to decline not out of false modesty, but because we ought to know that our opinion may not be of benefit or worthy. Other times, it would be a form of false humility or modesty to decline to give our opinion. Prayer, experience, and more prayer and the good example of someone we look up to will help us here. On the other hand, that soul may be desperate for our counsel. It depends on our judgment, and being fallible, we will not always choose wisely. In other words, let us not be so scrupulous that we come off sanctimonious --- we cannot win souls for Christ like this --- but neither should we become discouraged when upon examining our conscience we find that we have failed. It is not frivolous to observe the amenities and to be of good cheer and to try to help our neighbor as humbly as we know how at any given moment. The "cold, silent treatment" is anything but virtuous. In fact it is likely a form of contempt. Our garrulous neighbor may not grasp the spiritual necessity of silence, we have to forgive him this one fault, just as he ought to forgive us our many faults.
Also think about this especially, it may be more important to consider not if we speak, but how and always why. We must always turn to God and to Our Lady, our Guardian Angels and patron Saints to help us keep watch over our tongues, but first, our hearts:
In the Gospel of Saint Matthew, Chapter 15, verses 18, 19 and 20, we find Our Lord teaching us as He spoke to the Pharisees thus: "But the things which proceed out of the mouth, come forth from the heart, and those things defile a man. For from the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false testimonies, blasphemies. These are the things that defile a man. But to eat with unwashed hands doth not defile a man."
and
In the Epistle of St. James, Chapter 3, verses 2 through 18 we find: "For in many things we all offend. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man. He is able also with a bridle to lead about the whole body. For if we put bits into the mouths of horses, that they may obey us, and we turn about their whole body. Behold also ships, whereas they are great, and are driven by strong winds, yet are they turned about with a small helm, whithersoever the force of the governor willeth. Even so the tongue is indeed a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold how small a fire kindleth a great wood. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is placed among our members, which defileth the whole body, and inflameth the wheel of our nativity, being set on fire by Hell. For every nature of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of the rest, is tamed, and hath been tamed, by the nature of man: But the tongue no man can tame, an unquiet evil, full of deadly poison. By it we bless God and the Father: and by it we curse men, who are made after the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth, out of the same hole, sweet and bitter water? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear grapes; or the vine, figs? So neither can the salt water yield sweet. Who is a wise man, and embued with knowledge among you? Let him shew, by a good conversation, his work in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter zeal, and there be contentions in your hearts; glory not, and be not liars against the truth. For this is not wisdom, descending from above: but earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and contention is, there is inconstancy, and every evil work. But the wisdom, that is from above, first indeed is chaste, then peaceable, modest, easy to be persuaded, consenting to the good, full of mercy and good fruits, without judging, without dissimulation. And the fruit of justice is sown in peace, to them that make peace."
Simply put, as Mother Theresa said, "The fruit of silence is prayer." And as many a Saint has said, the fruit of prayer is salvation.
Continued forward for St. Alphonsus Liguori or
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